The first date was fantastic. There was handholding, plenty of laughter and even ended with plans to do it again soon. So why are you still waiting for that text back? Don’t hold your breath waiting for your phone to light up, the text is not coming. You’ve been ghosted.

Relationship ghosting is a phenomenon that has existed as long as humans have been dating, but recently it has gained new attention. Ghosting is the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly ending communication without an explanation. It’s the modern way to exit someone’s life and has become very much the norm in today’s society.

Technology has changed the way ghosting previously existed. Through the use of dating apps, social media, and constant communication, ghosting has become an entirely different beast.

Above, Kanell analyzes previous texts from a man that ghosted her.

Dr. Leah LeFebvre is a professor at the University of Alabama, with research experience in personal relationships, relationship dissolution, social media, and emerging technologies.

“Technology is usually the first way they find out they’ve been ghosted but still have access to that person, so the remoteness is further accentuated,” LeFebvre said. “It’s ambient access, meaning I know you’re there but are no longer responding to me.”

LeFebvre said ambient access is when a person can continue to observe their former partner and see their happenings, communications, and relationships through social media. This can hinder a person’s ability to move on, despite technology giving individuals the capability to ghost more easily through increased physical remoteness.

“Technology gives us easy ways to avoid difficult conversations,” LeFebvre said. “It suggests that people aren’t willing to have a conversation even if it helps the other person because we are sort of self-centered and uncomfortable and technology allows us to continue with that.”

Senior student Dina Henderson agrees that social media and technology in today’s society has changed the landscape for ghosting, making it harder on the person getting ghosted.

Not only does ghosting impact people's views on relationships, but it can also create mental health struggles. Henderson was overcome with extreme guilt for years after ghosting a boy in high school.

“Technology makes it tricky because if you see the guy ghosting you liking people’s Instagram photos and posting stories on Snapchat, you’re going to question why he won’t text you back,” Henderson said. “It’s hard because you can still see him being active on social media, but he’s still actively ignoring you.”

Ghosting's impact on relationships

Emma Kanell is a current senior who believes ghosting impacts the way people view relationships and dating today.

“I think ghosting has made people very insecure and that impacts relationships tremendously,” Kanell said. “People are afraid to let their wall down because they’re scared they could get ghosted and be embarrassed.”

People who have been ghosted can be less inclined to start relationships because they are hesitant to trust others and want to prevent future hurt. In an attempt to protect themselves from re-experiencing ghosting, some people stop dating altogether.

“Quite a few people have had to take breaks from dating because they experienced detrimental effects,” LeFebvre said.

Not only does ghosting impact people's views on relationships, but it can also create mental health struggles. Henderson was overcome with extreme guilt for years after ghosting a boy in high school.

“I hate the way that I ghosted someone in high school,” Henderson said. “I felt so bad about it for years that I literally apologized to this kid two years ago when we were sophomores in college and I saw him over summer break.”

Ghosting's effect on mental health

Guilt is not the only potential side effect of ghosting. Henderson believes ghosting can lead to even greater issues.

“I think people start to spiral and blame themselves for everything,” Henderson said. “All of the doubts make you think it’s your fault and you start being mean to yourself, which can lead to anxiety and depression.”

Kanell has also experienced negative mental health effects due to ghosting at Elon.

“I think the ghosting culture and the boy culture here at Elon has peaked my anxiety and made me stressed,” Kanell said. “It’s made situations that are supposed to be fun and enjoyable, sometimes not as fun and enjoyable because I’m thinking about my relationships with these boys.”

This is an example of a converstaion between Kanell and an Elon student.

Ghosting exists across all colleges, but Kanell believes Elon’s smaller size increases ghosting culture.

“Ghosting is different in a college environment because you’re constantly seeing the same people and running in the same circles,” Kanell said. “Elon is small, which makes it really awkward to ghost people because of how many times you’ll see them in social settings.”

LeFebvre agrees that ghosting in college is more challenging as opposed to ghosting someone on a dating app.

“With college, you still may run into that person so it may come with some discomfort,” LeFebvre said. “There are more consequences you risk in college.”

Danielle Thomas is a current sophomore who ghosted a boy for eight months in high school. He continued to aggressively pursue her even after she made numerous attempts to cut off all communication with him.

“I blocked him on text, Instagram and everything,” Thomas said. “He kept posting about me on Instagram and referred to me with a certain emoji in an attempt to get my attention.”

Thomas managed to move on despite his attempts to see her, yet he continued being possessive over her.

“He would text my friends and check my location to try and see me,” Thomas said. “His behavior became obsessive.”

Thomas’ experience took a toll on her mental health and made her anxious about going to school and participating in social activities.

Above, senior students Emma Kanell (left) and Olivia Houston (right) share funny anecdotes about ghosting.

Ghosting and dating apps

Dan Severance is a current senior who experienced relief after being ghosted. Over the summer he matched with a man on Tinder, but age difference, and long-distance contributed to why the two ceased communication.

“It honestly was a relief for me because it didn’t make sense that we would keep talking,” Severance said. “There’s no practicality staying in contact when we haven’t even met each other.”

According to the Pew Research Center, the use of online dating sites by young adults between the ages of 18 and 24 has nearly tripled since 2013, increasing from 10 to 27 percent.

Kanell thinks people will continue to use dating apps because the hope of finding someone outweighs the potential of being ghosted.

“I think everyone just wants the comfort of another person,” Kanell said. “Getting ghosted is something that comes along with it, but people desire other people’s affection and I think that will always surpass ghosting.”

Henderson believes ghosting speaks volumes about modern-day society.

“In society today we’re all just cowards,” Henderson said. “No one wants to have an uncomfortable conversation face-to-face because we’re all so used to hiding behind a screen. I think phones have desensitized us from other people’s feelings.”